


How to Get The Guy

by IreneSpring



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Friendship, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Romance advice, prompt 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29294388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IreneSpring/pseuds/IreneSpring
Summary: Rafael transcribes some of Alex's advice so that he can look it over later. These are some of his favorites.Prompt: "Wine and dine him."
Relationships: Rafael Barba & Alexandra Cabot, Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 27
Collections: Barisi Valentine’s Cliché Challenge





	How to Get The Guy

**Author's Note:**

> Yay, new prompt time!  
> Honestly this prompt was my least favorite to do. I wanted to try out a new format since I did so many Alex & Rafael conversations in SFF, including some where Alex gives him advice, but you know that a lot of what I write focuses on dialogue. Who knows, maybe it's just my anxiety and this is actually excellent. Idk.  
> Also, yes, I am aware that I stole soul_writerr's shtick by using a Taylor Swift reference as my title. Apologies for the unoriginality.

_ The following is a series of horrible pieces of romantic advice given by Alexandra Cabot to Rafael Barba _ :

#1: 

Everybody loves goldfish. Those are the rules. Like even Danny Concannon, who was a terrible piece of shit to C.J., got it right with the goldfish. Get him a goldfish. I mean it. They’re easy to take care of. They provide companionship. Sort of, anyway. But, the trick is that you have to be careful, because you don’t want to remind him of Danny Concannon. Because, as previously stated, Danny Concannon was a terrible piece of shit. A regular Lionel Granger. Just the worst.

I don’t know, how does he feel about rabbits? Maybe get him a stuffed rabbit. Those are cute. My point is, you can’t go wrong with cute animals. Liv and I don’t have many pets, but that’s just because Liv and I have pretty much no life, except for Noah. And we have a hard enough time with Noah. Don’t have kids. I mean, Sonny’s great with kids. Maybe suggest you’re open to having kids?

_ Transcriber’s note: This was after Noah threw up on Alex’s favorite sweater. It was Olivia’s turn to watch the child so we went to Forlini’s. Alex would later admit to being “minorly toasted” which in Alex-Cabot speak is “don’t drive for at least three days.” I would later note that Sonny has not ever watched  _ The West Wing  _ and thus the reference would fly over his head, and he’d just be left with a fish. -RB _

#2:

Wine and dine him. Sonny seems like he likes Guy Fieri. I’m pretty sure his restaurant is still open. That would be hilarious. I know you try to be dignified, Rafa, but consider it. Sonny would enjoy it, and I know you’re worried about seeming intimidating. It’s hard to be intimidating in Flavortown.

_ Transcriber’s note: I would never be caught dead in any establishment run by Guy Fieri. One can only hope this was meant purely as a joke. -RB _

#3

I hear  _ Cats  _ is back on Broadway. It’s supposed to be good. The dancing is energetic. Maybe Sonny would appreciate that. The costumes are supposed to be interesting. I know you like cats. Additionally, you enjoy Broadway. It’s important to see if you have any overlapping interests. Plus, you told me he looks good in formal wear. Broadway usually involves some formal wear.

It’s also not that serious a show. There’s no need for heartfelt discussion of the play afterward. It’s honestly a bulletproof plan. You also get to show off your wealth, given the truly extortionate prices they charge for concessions. Alternately, prove your bad-boyness by sneaking snacks into Broadway. I believe you are up to the task.

_ Transcriber’s note: I am ashamed to admit this, but “Memory” does make me cry. I will not go to a show that will make me cry, because I will have to explain my deep seated insecurities to Sonny, who is by all accounts a well-adjusted individual. And I do want him to see me in a positive light. I want him to want a second date. Having to listen to your coworker disclose severe loneliness is not a good evening. Perhaps more importantly, he has also vehemently proclaimed himself a ‘dog person’ on numerous occasions. -RB _

#4

Seriously, Rafa. Just ask him out. Olivia tells me you are starting to get obvious. From what you’ve told me, he feels the same way. The only thing you’re doing right now is making yourself miserable. You have to just go for it.

You have an opportunity right now. You’re going to be spending a lot of time together during the Hodda trial. Emotions running high, a sense of camaraderie, and close proximity. Exactly how much better do you want the circumstances to be? 

This is a good thing that could happen. And as your friend, and a person who is rooting for you, I can’t urge you enough to just do it.

_ Transcriber’s note: It is not that simple. If he says no, I will be off my game for the rest of the trial, which will in turn cause him to hate me even more. And I would rather be in this awkward stage of limbo than in a period of hostility. I still want to talk to him. Even if it’s about the law. Even if it isn’t romantic. And I can’t just risk that. He’s one of my very few friends, and she of all people should understand that. -RB _

#5

Wear the pink suspenders with the pink tie.

_ Transcriber’s note: He laughed. She’s lucky it was in a good way or I would have told Liv that she was the one who broke their glass mixing bowl, not Noah. -RB. _

**Author's Note:**

> Still not sure how I feel about it overall but I will concede that "It's hard to be intimidating in Flavortown" is one of my favorite lines in all the stories I've written for this challenge thus far.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
